Ant diary: Nine months

Growth check: At his 9 month appt last Friday Ant weighed in at 19lb 6oz, although that was with a non-empty diaper. I'd guess he's really no more than 19lbs - although that's still a pound more than last month! They also measured him at 28.5 inches, although when I laid him down on the paper after the nurse left, I thought they gypped him at least 1/2 inch.
Talking: Interestingly Ant is saying fewer consonants now than he was last month. I think it's because his brain is so focused on crawling, pulling up and walking that the talking has taken a bit of a back seat. It does often sounds as if he's saying "dog" and "good", although not in any context.

Movement: Ant officially started crawling on 5/9. He had made a little bit of forward progress the few days before that, but that day he crawled all the way across the office, from in front of the mirror to the corner by the window, and then halfway back again. By the next day he was able to go from crawling back to sitting again. A couple of weeks after that was when I walked in to get him up from his nap to find him sitting up in the crib. He still doesn't do that very often, I think because the sleepsack hampers his movement a bit. Ant's next trick was to pull himself up on things. He's done it a couple of times for us, on his blue chair and music table. The Rinaldis say he was pulling himself up on the coffee table and other things as well. He does seem to have regressed in that a bit as well - he gets stuck on his knees a lot. There's also a bit of 'cruising' going on, walking along the furniture, and moving from one piece to another. He's getting more and more comfortable letting go of whatever he's holding onto, and has stood on his own for 12 secs. He also has a lot more confidence 'walking' now, only needing a finger in each hand. Which is all well and good, except it's quite backbreaking!
Mental: He's a lot more interested in what's going on around him. He'll peer around his car seat to try and see what's going on. He's started pointing at things, when we're reading books mostly. And he's learned to open cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. Also to find something that's been covered - like my bellybutton!
Toys and games: Ant has learned to turn the mobile in his crib on and off. A couple of times after I finished changing his diaper he was crawling over to the mobile, so I put him in the crib standing up next to it. He was kinda scratching at it at first, but managed to turn it on. And then off again. We practised that a few times, and now he's started doing it on his own, on occasion, when he wakes up from a nap. He gets up on his hands and knees, and then reaches up for the button. We definitely need to find some more toys, he really likes the more interactive toys at friend's houses. I did get a school bus which has a driver you can press to make noises, and four children in the back. He likes to wiggle the driver to get the noises going, and also really likes munching on the poor children!
Teeth: No new teeth this month, just lots of growth of the eight he already had. I think the molars will be on their way soon though, his gums are looking much whiter in the molar areas, and a bit more lumpy as well. We'll see...
Hands: Very good at the pincer grip now, and can almost always get the puffie or whatever else he's trying to right into his mouth. Also pointing with a single finger at things, as I mentioned. He's good at picking up things in both hands now, and likes to bang them together. And in the last week or two, has gotten really good at turning the pages of his books as we read them. He likes to turn the pages a lot faster than I ever did! Sometimes I can't even finish reading what's on the page before he's on to the next one.

Feeding: We've added quite a few new foods this past month, much more chunky than in the past. Ant really likes soups, we've given him minestrone and chicken noodle, just cutting up the bits until they're quite small. He had some of a meatball Ann made for us for dinner one night. He also seems to enjoy deli turkey and cheese, pieces of bread (really likes mom's banana bread), crackers or biscuits, and his banana puffies. Likes to put quite a few of those in his mouth at once! There have been a few things we've tried that haven't been such a bit hit - hard boiled egg and fish were rejected with some very funny looks. A new mannerism has appeared, when he's sitting in his high chair he'll often tip his head all the way over onto his left shoulder. Or sometimes even lie it on the table or high chair. Very cute. We're back to nursing 4x per day again, and will probably stick with that for a while, as it seems to work out w ell. I'm considering switching to having his solid lunch a bit earlier and then milk at around 2pm, we'll see.

Sleeping: It was quite funny to me, as soon as Ant hit eight months it was as if he decided "enough of this three nap thing", and went right to two naps almost every day. He finally has a "schedule", napping at 9am and then at 2pm most days. Goes down most nights between 6:30-7, and usually sleeps all the way through to at least 5 something. If he wakes are around 5ish I'll feed him and he will go back to sleep most of the time. Some days he goes all the way to 6:30 or 7. Heaven!

Little bit sad.

I've decided as of this morning that it's time to stop nursing.

I wanted to hold on until a year. But, between the biting which has increased in frequency again, and my complete failure to let down for the pump about 50% of the time, I just can’t do it.

I find myself getting upset and angry with Ant when he bites me, which I hate. I know that he’s not doing it out of any kind of malice, but I’m finding it very difficult not to let those emotions bubble up despite logically knowing that they don’t make sense. He’s also taken to popping on and off, which also exasperates me, as do the times when he seems to nurse endlessly.

Pumping used to be very easy – 5 minutes and I’d have somewhere around 5-6oz. Now, it takes me much longer to let down for the pump, if I even do. When there’s no let down I only get an ounce or two, or sometimes (like this morning) even less. I know there’s milk there – this morning he only ate from one side so I should be able to get at least 3oz from the other side. But when my reflex doesn’t cooperate, what I should get and what I do get are wildly different. So I’m finding that incredibly frustrating as well.

On the whole, I find that I now dread nursing a lot of the time, and I dread pumping too. Well, dread may be a bit strong a word, but I definitely approach both with more trepidation than sense of enjoyment. Ant doesn’t seem to care one way or the other whether he has the bottle or the breast. So I’ve decided that it’s okay for me to stop.

My head knows that it's okay, and that he'll be just fine if he doesn't get breastmilk until he's a year old, but I'm still a little bit sad about it. I started to write an IM to my sis this morning to ask about what kind of formula she’d recommend, and started getting all teary. Which is funny because I never thought of myself as emotionally attached to nursing. I guess I am to some extent. But I’m also feeling a big sense of relief with my decision.

I guess it will really depend, though, on whether he’ll take formula or not. We’ll find out this weekend! The BJ's brand formula has been recommended to me, so we'll probably go out on Sat and get that.